Thursday, 5 August 2010
ABOUT THE BOOK:
Ansel, an aspiring stand-up living in L.A. uses what he considers his unfortunate looks and his sad memories of childhood -- particularly Christmases past as fodder for his comedy routines. Often rejected on the basis of his looks alone, he is only attracted to tall, beautiful, svelte women he can only get by default compliments of his handsome, best friend Kirk, who “goes through women like socks.” When he dumps them, he gives Ansel their phone numbers; and because they’re devastated and on the rebound, they agree to go out with him because he makes them laugh.
When Greta, a slightly chubby, slightly stout, Midwestern girl moves into Ansel’s apartment building, they become ‘buddies.’ Or that’s what Ansel thinks. Greta has other ideas.
My name is Ansel Deusledorf, so you can see how I had a strike against me from the very beginning. I can't blame everything on my name. I realize that. There's the way I look, too. I look just like you'd expect someone to look with a name like Deusledorf. They should have named me Icabod instead of Ansel. Icabod Deusledorf -- it has a nice ring to it, don't you think? Except that every bully who ever picked on me during my entire childhood probably would have called me 'Icky' for short. I don't think I would have liked that.
Anyway, I have a rather skinny neck, a prominent Adam's apple and a somewhat beakish nose, both of which stick out farther than my whatzit does when it gets excited. My teeth are a little too big for my face and slightly buck. Suffice it to say, I never get the girl. Unless you count the ones I get by default -- compliments of Kirk Hanson.
If I sent my picture to the producers of that Extreme Makeover plastic surgery show on television, they'd take me straight away. Or that's what I thought, because I've heard the more work you need done, the more likely it is they'll choose you. They like dramatic changes in the after picture.
Actually, I sent a video to that program a few months back. They said and I quote: "We generally like to select people who have some potential."
I used this incident in my monologue once thinking I'd get a laugh. Instead, the entire audience said, "Awwwww." It wasn't the response I wanted. It was laughter I was after.
I saw a psychic on television the other day -- Saliva Tan I believe her name was -- who claims a soul picks its own parents. But, I can't imagine being allowed to select any two people from maybe a billion candidates and saying, "I'll take the homely ones standing over there by that tree -- the woman with the humungous nose and the skinny guy with buck teeth". Evidently, that's what I did.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR:
I began my writing career as a free-lance journalist. I've written six novels in the last six years. I often work on more than one novel at a time. When I hit an impasse with one, I simply set it aside for a spell and work on another. Eventually, I know I'll break through my block. I cannot not write for any extended length of time.
Desert Breeze Congratulates Janice on her latest release!